Life: Loving & Bonding With Our Mothers Beyond The Years of Our Youth
If you ask most Women who they are inspired or loved by the most, you instantly will hear, "My Mom". Words can't describe the love I have for my 'Pretty Lady' (that's what I call my Mom). I can go on and on about all of her great attributes, and strong qualities, but I want to go deeper inside the mother, daughter relationship. Not everyone has the type of bond that my mom and I have, and some might even wonder how it's our tight knot relationship is possible; post adolescence. Lots of people think that because we are biologically connected to our mom's, and since they physically birthed us; we should automatically have a tight bond. You'd be surprised how untrue this is. After a certain age, even after starting families of our own, keeping that bond becomes difficult.
When I moved to another State, I feared the relationship I had with my Mother would grow weak. I knew I needed to put more effort on my part because this was new to the both of us. Finding a great balance was always important. You never want to over do things because they don't end up being genuine, and feel like more of a chore..
Now some may say, "I'm not close with my Mother." Listen, we all have a "Mother" in our lives, whether biological or not. Find ways to keep that bond strong. Relish in the positive "Mother" like people who have offered to be a sounding board to you. We get so caught up on what we are lacking and missing, we fail to appreciate what's in front of us. Figure out a way to keep receiving the proper love and give it to your main inspiration. We need it, it's so valuable.
Being open minded is so important. When I speak to my Mother, and she is showing concern or giving advice, my heart is immediately open. I'm ready to receive whatever words of wisdom she has. Now, I do become aggravated when she is strongly criticizing me for some of my choices, but it's short lived. I have chosen to understand her words aren't meant to be lethal, but meant to restore and refresh my mind. When someone wants what's best for you, you can always tell. Listen, absorb all of the old school stories and shoulda coulda wouldas.
Maintenance on any relationship is difficult, but that's when it's forced. My Mother is literally my Best Friend! There is a natural excitement there because I have chosen to do the work. In speaking with my Mother in detail, I always find out why I have made choices the way I have. We do things so subconsciously sometimes, and we don't realize it. Mimicking her isn't what I strive to do, doing things better than her is what she desires of me.
As years go by I continue to figure out ways to keep our bond tight. In the beginning she had a whole day. I dedicated one day a week to do whatever Mommy wanted to.) Then that turned into 2 days. Now, our new thing is television. She's so intrigued by some things I've watched in her presence, that they have become her favorites. When I tell you she shocks me sometimes, she really does. She called me the other day (I kid you not) and said, "Babygirl, why Joseline had to come out here being a THOT like that, Stevie J was really trying." Her reference to latest spin off VH1 show 'Stevie J and Joseline Go Hollywood' literally almost made me wreck. Let's not even talk about her excitement for season 8 of 'RuPaul's Drag Race' coming in March; or how we were going to eat, and Jermaine( J-Cole) comes on and she starts humming lyrics. She's just awesome lol! We've both chosen to adjust and adapt to each other, making conscious efforts to support each other and be motivation not misery.
For those struggling in a the relationship with your Mother, ask yourself, who's not being open minded, who unwilling to adapt? Then decide if you have done what you can to salvage that relationship. The Good Book and our Heavenly Father declares we must respect and obey our Parents; so never stop being a humble and graceful child. Don't live in that negative, move forward with those who want to nurture you. No grudges, no hard feelings, just progress to where your light is calling you. Some may say I don't understand because I've never had to deal with a lack of love from my Parents, but trust me, do. I've witnessed it happen so many times. Keep striving to be better than they are, good or bad. Stay in tune with the most high, and allow the pieces to fit as they should in your life. Do more than the work.