By Brittney Baker-
For some, tears represent a sign of weakness.. The crying symbolizes a break in your exterior, and for many, this is embarrassing. I on the other hand, have always been comfortable being emotional. But it wasn't until this whole process of divorce started, that I began looking at my tears as training..
Confused by that? Well let me explain. Tears cleanse the soul, literally. Have you ever cried a good cry and felt so much weight lifted afterwards? As I journey through this process, I'd made the mistake of being angry with myself for being emotional. "Why cry over this, over him, he's fine!" As a women, two key attributes of our womanhood is our vulnerability and emotional instinct. We were built to connect with life this way, and should never deny it. One day I was alone, trying to fight against my own pain. I sat in my room, in silence, in darkness.. thinking, and suddenly the tears I fought so hard became so heavy. They rushed down like a roaring rapid, ready to swallow a raft of tourists! All I could do was cry out, "Lord, help me, please help me." I cried for at least an hour. I fell to my knees and curled into fetal position, screaming, crying, kicking, experiencing every physical and mental (e)motion you can think of! It was one of those exhausting cries, that drains you to rest. Afterwards, my heart felt so clear, and in that moment I realized the purpose of my tears.
While having that breakdown, alone in my room, I remember reading an excerpt from Robert Greene's "Power of War". He discussed training, and the development stages of preparing for combat. It dawned on me then, that I was being trained or developed for combat/journey, and life after the divorce is final. You hear me, but you may never believe me until you are in your own test. When those times come, remember my voice and allow yourself to cry, scream, kick, yell, and get those training tears out of the way!
These days, when I cry, it's to cleanse my soul, and I actually smile afterwards and thank God for giving me that moment of clarity. I say clarity because, when there are tears you have clearly defined an emotion you want to conquer. The tears are the harness and the amunition you need to continue on your path.
Sometimes we look at our storms as destructive obstacles that are meant to destroy us, when in actuality they are meant to develop us.
Do you remember a time when photographs needed to be developed? Your negatives, which held your memories, had to be taken into a "Dark room" to be transformed into beautiful images. Well, my training tears occur in my "Dark Room", and I always emerge stronger, focused and encouraged. Cry my loves, be in your darkness, allow your pain to be transformed. Enjoy being trained by those tears.
Do you see your tears in a whole new light? Do you agree that there is strength in emotion? Do you feel calm & clear after a good soul cry? Sound off in the comments!